Truth in voice mails

Every day I change the message on my voice mail, and it goes like this:

You have reached the voice mail box for Christy on July 16. I'm in the office today, but I'm either away from my desk or on another line. I will be in the office today until 3:45 Eastern Time. Please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If you need help immediately, press "0" now and ask for any adjuster in the eastern regional office. Thank you and have a good day.

OK. Let's get real. Here's what the message should say if I am being honest:

You have reached the voice mail box for Christy on July 16th. I'm in the office today but I'm either 1) on another phone call, probably personal, but maybe not; 2) getting a cup of coffee; 3) in the bathroom doing what comes naturally in the bathroom; 4) talking with a co-worker about our personal lives; or 5) just ignoring the phone because I'm doing something else and don't want to get it. I will be in the office today from 7:35 ish to noon, and then 1:30 or so until 3:45. If you want to, you can leave your name and phone number. I make it a goal to answer my voice-mails within the week, but sometimes it does stretch out to two. If you need faster service, here's my fax number 555-1212 or you can mail stuff to my address at "Company Address". Or, if you really want to, you can push "0" now and ask for anyone in the liability department in the eastern regional office. The operator will probably just tell you to leave a message in my voice mail, but you never know. You may be lucky today. Have a good day.

That's what I should say. It would be honest. But I'd probably get fired so I will stay with the message I usually leave. Everyone is happier living the lie that way.

Have a good day.

If only thinking were as good as the real thing...

Every day, I think about things I should do. Wouldn't it be nice if just by thinking seriously about something it would come to pass? Now, you wouldn't want just any ol' random thought to come about because that would be disasterous. Imagine if some grumpy cashier made you mad and you thought "Ugh! She should get fired!" and bam! she was! Or what if someone thought that about you? Or even, "Man! I wish my boss was dead! I hate him!" Whoa! you go to work the next day, and he's not there because you KILLED him with your thoughts.

On the other hand, if you were to sit down and plan something out, not just a random thought or momentary wish, that would be cool. I would "think" myself fit and healthy. I would "think" myself into liking my job, and getting paid much more than I do now. I would "think" my exercise and eating plans. And I would "think" that sugar/fats/and other ugly unhealthy items do absolutely no harm to my body. All this would come to pass just by thinking about it.

Ah yes. The power of laziness. Thinking is so much easier than doing.

Hump Day

It's hump day, which is so nice. Down-hill slide to the weekend. That alone makes me feel kinda bad, because that means I'm wishing my life away, waiting with bated breath for the weekend (i.e. no work for 2 days) to show up. I wonder if this means I need to search inside for some honest answers about if I like my job. I have a sneaking suspicion I don't anymore. The problem is, I've been there for so long that I get 3 weeks of vacation, and just a couple more years and I'll get 4! I can't get there starting out anywhere else, and I live in a town small enough and far enough away from a large town that this is the only game that will pay me what I'm getting paid. Which ain't bad. I make pretty good money. So, heck. What's the deal with being bored and not wanting to go to work? It's not like the job isn't challenging or anything like that. Perhaps it's a mid-life crisis. Ha.

Meanwhile, Friday is sliding into the home stretch...